accept what u can’t change…

who- a gorgeous caterpillar that truly appreciates the process BEFORE the buttErfLy…
what- true power is in LETTING GO.
when- written yesterday evening.. posted 4:30 pm today…
where- was at beSty’s last night.. now at ‘home’….


these past couple of days have presented somewhat of a challenge… been face to face with rather uncomfortable situations that clearly will not change. ESPECIALLY since i want them to change so badly.

things that just are. not necessarily bad or good. just there.

i guess it comes with being so passionate. we care and care to our very own detriment. the extreme and generous love that we are SO capable of giving, turns into the worst kind of pain when it isn’t reciprocated exactly how we want it, and when…

and it’s paralyzing pain at that. it just can’t be ok for this to happen.

to personalize this, i will have to discuss my situation. well basically i have been putting myself in a situation that i sincerely had good intentions of handling, but i just wasn’t ready to handle it properly.

it deals with a family member so you already know that makes it an even touchier subject. have u ever loved someone to death, but couldn’t comfortably be in the same room with them for longer than 5 minutes? ok- TEN if you’re tipsy.

what IS that?

i’m just saying. why the hell should i have to be SO dispositioned and discombobulated based on some human being’s personality [or the lack thereof]? even if it is a member of my own flesh and blood crew.

i’m talking deeply disturbed. skin-crawling, gut-wrenching, nauseous-feeling- disturbed.

that’s just not ok now is it? two things have to happen here sweeties. either you get over yourself and all your ‘feelings’ –or- STOP being around that muthafukka!!

ultimately, truE.pEacE can’t come from the words or actions of another. i tell myself over and over that the sooner i stop this dumb ass search, the sooner imma actually find it!

easier said than done. i know. but i’m glad to at least know which is the more zEn road to take.

one, how people view themselves, is simply self-opinion. most of the time, it’s even delusional. and, two, how people view you, is simply an opinion too! so why be all offended and such just because you come across someone that appears righteous, judgmental, or even insanely conceited? yea, initially, it feels like they’re attacking your essence, but in actuality, it is your own insecurities that are attacking you.

at the end of the day boo boo, YOU are in fact causing your own pain.

* sigh *

imma hafta meditate on that one for a minute. do you hear me??? a LONG minute. cuz honey! it’s haaaaard holding back the urge to inform somebody of the big moronic idiot that they are brilliantly emulating.
but silence is SO golden…. trust me. it’s SO much more poignant when you stand there and just look at them with the “u’z a dumb bitch” look.
honey, the truth is HUGE and it’s KNOWN! it so IS. you need not defend it under any circumstances.

“the truth needs no defense…” –A.N.E. –e. tolle-

be good y’all…

sidebar- im mad that i’m missing the Kentucky derby AGAIN…. [what] my pretty southern church hat that i wanted to wear!!! my fruity drink with the umbrella in it, as i watch the horsies do their thing….!!!!!!!! UGHHHH!!!!! [looking around to find someone o blame] LDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!