June « 2008 « eLbie on elbieinc.com - in association with fAb.zEn

Jun

29

2008

.rEsistancE.

Written by eLbie in zEn at 12:28 pm on Jun, 29 2008

who- someone trying to recognize herself again.. wtf is going on?
what- is romance really hopeless?

when- 7:38 am

where- an undisclosed location in the bed wrapped up in a sheet and looking at something GORGEOUS.

sometimes in life you are faced with something you SWORE you would never have anything to do with. here you are all comfortable in your own little story with all it’s rules and regulations, and all of the sudden- WHAM- here comes the exact opposite to everything you been proclaiming. ain’t that some shit? i mean, i’m not so caught up in my ego that i would turn my back to this,… this… this um - glitch in the matrix. BUT i am still a bit taken aback by the sweet irony of life.

yeah- i am being rather cryptic because i don’t want a whole bunch of strangers in my personal business and thangs. but don’t worry, i will still complete my thoughts.

ok so- here it is in a nutshell. in the past 5 years or so… i have turned from the endlessly hopeless romantic i was born to be into a somewhat cynical spirit. one that has sort of lost hope in the possibility that people still have loyal bones in their bodies. i couldn’t help but look at committed relationships/marriage thru a cheating curve glass. i figured that since everybody ends up doing SOMEthing shady, why have any real hope that they WON’T? i know, i know… kinda a little bit on the negative side. but it worked for me. it made perfect sense as far as i was concerned. shit- it still does.

a lot of it comes from the fact that, i don’t consider myself to be your ‘average’ … ever since i can remember, i do most everything unconventionally. i refuse to be defined and put into cute little boxes so that i’m easier to ’swallow’ for people. it isn’t my business on this earth to make others comfortable. i am who i am. if you don’t like it- get the fukk ON. period.

probably why i find such solace in solitude. i’m just too damn grown to explain myself to nay a mufukka. is that bitchy?? harsh? rude? oh well…. i sincerely doubt i’m looking for approval from any of you, you, or YOU.

i guess i was supposed to conclude with a ‘happily ever after’ … um NO. not quite as yet. it all remains to be seen.

i remember reading somewhere that : ‘’solitude is the price of greatness” …

WELL.

they said it.

i didn’t.

234 Responses.rEsistancE.2008-06-29+17%3A28%3A00eLbie

Jun

20

2008

love is love

Written by eLbie in zEn at 8:38 am on Jun, 20 2008

who- a 31 year old that feels like she is in high school all over again [in a good way tho!] chillin in a tank and shorts…
what- love is love- but love YOU first DUMMY!

when- 9:48 am

where- in my bed.

ok so.. these past couple of days, i have been confronted by love in different forms. first- my home girl called me frantic over her man ‘cheating on her’ at a HOtel, THEN- my other homegirl’s man’s phone accidentally called her when he was with some random scallywag-at a HOtel. same kind of situation but let me tell you the difference. and THEN all of the sudden, i seem to be surrounded by love. i see it all around me. it’s amazing. but i digress…

homegirl #1 was devastated. i mean i practically had to talk her off the ledge. i haven’t seen anything like it since juliet saw romeo’s dead body. NOT exaggerating. anywho, i told her that in addition to her EGO, it was the fact that this nigga takes care of her- that had her feeling so SICK. he pays her very high rent, gives her whatever she wants before she even asks for it. meanwhile, she is ‘in between careers’ and hasn’t taken him up on his many offers to help her start her own business.

ok now. what part of that doesn’t ring UNfair, UNbalanced, and DUMB?? i mean HELLO??? of COURSE he is seeing other bitches. your ass ain’t doing a fraction of what you are supposed to be doing!!! shit! he is looking at you as a BILL boo boo. and everybody needs a break from paying bills in the sense that they gotta do something that ISNT costing them 4-5 g’s a month. work with me people!!!!!

please don’t think that you can take take take take and take some more and everything will just be peachy keen. ummm NO booboo… the universe WILL take from the taker. u can’t just be lost in cash flow and shopping trips and think that life is gonna wait for you to get it together. sheesh!!!! she’s a sweetheart but definitely has a long way to go.

homegirl #2 on the other hand didn’t give 2 shits about what her ‘man’ was doing because she was already aware of who he is [a trick] and had accepted it a long time ago. he did nothing for her emotionally, sexually OR spiritually. so- she took it for what it was. when his little bullshit popped up here and there, she was prepared to handle the facts [and nothing but the facts] as they came along. annnnnnd, she made sure not to miss a BEAT on his account.

SO, long story-short, please don’t let somebody turn you into a needy bucket head that doesn’t have 2 pennies to rub together. if you know your man or woman is NOT the one, please stop fighting it, drop the looser IMMEDIATELY from your ‘emotions’ file, and go back to building UPWARDS. ok? ok.

im done now.

yours in zEn.

224 Responseslove+is+love2008-06-20+13%3A38%3A00eLbie

Jun

14

2008

too.gOod.2.bE.true?

Written by eLbie in zEn at 9:16 am on Jun, 14 2008

who- a freshly showered and giddy writer, motivator, friend, and potEntiaL::LoveR … LoL [inside joke]
what- life is full of twists and turns.

when- 1:38 am

where- sittin’ up in my room…

it’s funny how everyone seems to have that moment in time where they feel that things are perfect. everything is predictable and systematic. everything seems to be happening exactly how we imagined it would. the ‘right’ way. all of our wishes- granted perfectly. then. THEN! all of the sudden, out of NOwhere, you get the wind knocked right out of you. and i mean HARD. it’s no joke. often times people can’t recover from the blow. and those that do recover, haven’t learned a thing.

maybe it is that blow that has people scared when positive things come into life. it makes you automatically get suspicious like - “uh oh, this is too good to be true. i just KNOW this mufukka about to lie to me about some dumb shit” we be trying HARD to create some shit just to confirm our fears. when in fact fear usually is the LIAR. USUALLY, it’s the lack of confidence and other zEn-bringing qualities that can cause all this foolishness. nothing else. if you woulda just CHILLED the fukk out, you might have had a fighting chance boo boo! *sheesh!*

it just sucks when people sabotage some good shit to protect and justify a paranoid phobia. ugh!!!!!

anywho- i just wanted to thank my homegirl who totally made my day today on yahoo msngr. omg she was soooo sweet this is what she wrote: “Excellent blog! Very informative and inspirational! You go gurl. I love the tips about having positive chi, I am actually starting to clean and neaten up my space so that the energy can flow….my family is very stressed and sick….you can tell how we keep our space. We really need to organize and declutter. Again, EXCELLENT!!! I love it! I really appreciate the fact that you take the time to do this and I will be sure to check out your blog on a more regular basis. You are truely an exceptional lady and positive being. Thank you for just being who you are! Seriously and sincerely.”
talk about LOVE… it DEF makes MY world go ’round. thank you miss lady!!!!!! you are truly appreciated

212 Responsestoo.gOod.2.bE.true%3F2008-06-14+14%3A16%3A00eLbie

Jun

7

2008

black.women.ROCK!!!!

Written by eLbie in zEn at 9:41 am on Jun, 7 2008

who- a very sleepy but motivated BLACK business lady working on a FAB future for me and my family
what- black women are the strongest in the world [sorry white girls- we still love y'all tho]

when- 8:17pm

where- in my bedroom cooling off with my brand new fan cuz the air condition does NOT like my room…

ok so i was talking to a friend of mine that i used to work with in my daycare days, topanga [yes that is her real name]. she told me some very UNsurprising information. get this- it has been researched and found that there are more black women that own businesses than any other race or gender. now- a WHITE man did that research so errrrrummmmm.. don’t hate. it is what it is.

and to be honest- there is one simple reason for that…. for a DOUBLE-NEGATIVE [i.e. being black AND female] to end up being a huge POSITIVE [i.e. runnin' shit]. survival!!! hello?

not to say anything about my positive GOOD black men, but for real-for real black men in general haven’t done too much more than go around and spread their ’seed’. for what??? for the single mother to be stuck raising young men and women on one income. i’m sorry but there are too many black men in JAIL for child support [amongst other reasons] for them to be taking care of all the beautiful children that are out here with their dna in them.

but back to my ladies….. i must say how PROUD i am to be amongst the survivors and the soldiers. thank you to all the [GOOD] black moms out there for doing the best you can, to make the most out of your situation. for pulling it together when you have been put into situations to tear you apart. for gathering strength out of all your weaknesses. for being SUPER DUPER. for being dynamic. for being the only thing you can be…. YOU.

even if you aren’t a mother, the fact that you are willing to go from the ‘bottom of the barrel’, to the top of the TOP- is an inspiration that brings tears to my eyes….

you rock black women.

and not only that… you ARE the rock.

201 Responseblack.women.ROCK%21%21%21%212008-06-07+14%3A41%3A00eLbie

Jun

4

2008

create an oasis….

Written by eLbie in zEn at 2:51 pm on Jun, 4 2008

who- a proud ethiopian-american. i don’t normally EVER say that but the fact that Mr Obama might actually be the PRESIDENT, has me re-thinkin’ about some new possibilities….
what- how i create peace by moving around some shit.

when- 8:00 pm

where- in a gorgeous day bed and thinking about my AMAZING hosts.

what a great past two days… reconnected with my favorite ny connects. and i must say i feel the universe moving in my favor. about TIME! no. i know. stuff happens when it’s supposed to happen. not when you want it to. i get it, trust me. the sooner i stopped resisting shit, the better i was prepared for the good stuff that came behind all the crap. anywho. i been eating good like i don’t know what. ofcourse i had some theibu jen [pictured] from Le Baobob restaurant in west harlem. they only serve this particular kind on tuesdays and saturdays, so i be pressed. u have NO idea how good it is… cabbage, roasted tilapia, carrots, jolof rice- i know that is spelled wrong and i really don’t feel like researching it right now. u know what i’m talking about! anyways. it’s good as hell….

THEN that evening, i go to a vegetarian spot called VP2 [vegetarian's paradise] i was referred there by a sweetie pie named neffy great recommendation!!! me and mr. soundz LOVED it!!!! amazingness.

what else- oh yeah! i surveyed my new ‘room in the city’ and i really love it. lots of character. just gotta make it more suitable for productivity. organized desk area. more lighting. wall deco that inspires. comfy chair. dresser and armoire cleaned totally out. and i gotta get a stackable plastic container for my toiletries…. that should do it. i will be sure to do before and after pics…

the key is to get rid of anything that isn’t functional. if something is broken- fix it or throw it out!! broken stuff in your space is very bad for positive chi. it actually breaks it. put away everything that you don’t use on a daily basis. keep surfaces free and clear of clutter. store things in accordance with how you use them. ie. keep daily used items within close reach, and items that are rarely used way in the back. remember the importance of aromatherapy!! your room should make you feel good. create a home for your stuff and let it live there!!!

192 Responsescreate+an+oasis....2008-06-04+19%3A51%3A00eLbie

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  - ::DISCLAIMER::
    
    welcome to my blog... i write everyday. i'm very random. intensely emotional. constantly seek zen in everything
    
    |a walking contradiction|
    
    i'm a freelance writer so don't get confused [or get it twisted] by the very improper way that i write on this blog. these thoughts are personal not business. that's different. :) iloveyou4reading.
    
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.rEsistancE.

love is love

too.gOod.2.bE.true?

black.women.ROCK!!!!

create an oasis….

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