due to the very tragic conditions that have overcome my brothers and sisters in Haiti, i have no words. i feel their pain and HOPE HOPE HOPE HOPE that the world is listening and HELPS [like for REAL HELP] *cough* oprah *cough* jayz *cough* ALL millionaires and well-to-do-ers *clears throat*

to those haitian sweetiepies that are [physically]safe from the tragedy, but worried about the safety of their loved ones Haiti, i pray for your strength and the SAFETY of all your relatives.

i really don’t feel like writing anything else today except this:
be grateful, be thankful, be kind, and GIVE to those less fortunate
om.

——– YOU MAY DONATE ON YOUR MOBILE PHONE BY TEXTING THE WORD “YELE” TO 501501 FOR A $5 CONTRIBUTION ———-

my love for his lyrics goes above the usual stuff that people sweat him about. i’m not into his money stacks, his cars, condos, houses, not even his woman or womEn.. none of it. i actually do a great job of blocking out all the superficial stuff that urks me about him and his ‘followers’ see?
*cheese*

i do that with a lot of things that i question in my zenmind. ignore the annoying - pull IN the positive.

& what i pull from him is the spirit of a hustler [entrepreneur, if you will] . someone that made something out of nothing and never[evah] looked back. someone that has taken care of his family for generations past and many more to come. someone that stayed fighting for himself, even when it became increasingly difficult to do so. someone who INSISTS on being his own boss and not doing ANYthing that he doesn’t [at least] partially own.

all of these traits, i can relate to as well as admire. i have parents that have been business owners all my life, so i literally reFUSE to be anybody’s ‘worker’. other than that, we can be PARTNERS and work together to accomplish a common goal, but me- work FOR you… no ma’am and no sir. i’m just not cut from that cloth.

so i will end this blog entry with my all time favorite quote from mr. knowles-carter. it’s from his very first album ‘reasonable doubt’ and the song is called [& appropriately so] “D’Evils”

been a bit emo lately… a lot of it comes with the fact that i’ve fallen in jumped into love and [even though i am THRILLED about it] .. it’s a MAJOR roller coaster of emotions u kno? *sigh*
i thought i swore off feeling like this?? yes, i actually did. it was that time [the many] IDIOTA[s] cheated on me for no reason and broke my delicate teeny little heart…

a lot of it is ~~>fear. which as we all know, is nothing more than: F.alse E.xpectations A.ppearing R.eal
[fear of WHAT tho?? everything is going so beautiful...]

just impatient i guess…. i want everything to be where i want it be already!!! us living together…. wedding… marriage…. babies….. *dreamy sigh*

some walls are still up and i know it…. at first, it used to make my stomach sick and make me wish that i would have kept more walls up myDAMNself…. [coulda shoulda woulda aint neva worked fo' nobody] but now since there is progress and [REAL] growth, i’m cool! real cool. i may talk a big game but i know i’ll wait… happily too. *cheese*

but sheeeeeesh! sometimes i feel like my heart is gonna BURST…. *giggle*

[ok, now y'all can go gag] LOL!

anywho- after some reflection i play some evanesence, meditate, and talk to my bff, i move past all the emo stuff, and am back to being, simply, grateful for my fortune. fear is a liar. reality is, life rocks! [and not cuz i'm in love] but cuz i’m ALIVE. yaaas!!!!!

meet my future baby, carriE:

isn’t she a DOLL?

[p.s. boo is so amazing]

hi honies!! i was invited to a nice church only 2 blocks away from my house today and i am so glad that i went!!! it was the first time that i was in a place of worship that didn’t damn people to hell. i used to LOVE going to church. regardless of the denomination, it always gave me LIFE to be around such positivity and joy. however, one of the MAIN reasons that i stopped going to church is because i got SICK and tired of all the damn gay-bashing. i got tired of the pastor [literally] OBSESSING over gay people and how they are ruining ‘our people’ and ‘killing our kids’ - man shutthefukkUP. it was disturbing my spirit to have to be subjected to so much negativity, hate and discrimination all [supposedly] in the name of God and Jesus. and i stopped going, cold turkey.

so, how does that work exactly? you claim to be ‘of God’ and that you want to bring people to ‘the body of Christ’ [i won't even go into my own personal beliefs about the whole 'Jesus' thing...] yet, the main thing you succeed in doing is turn people OFF, and scaring them away [far away] from ANYthing related to church. smh. it’s annoying.

BUT
today was a totally different experience than anything i’ve ever seen before. it was so nice to see people of all races, gender, and sexuality all under one roof celebrating their belief in God and being POSITIVE and uplifting one another. *sigh*

it was great…. not to mention the sermon, about fighting THROUGH fear with the strength of God as your BACK-UP, was SPECIFICALLY for my black ass…

ok. i’m done now. maybe i will work on not cursing so much in my blogs…. especially on sundays. *shrug*

hahaha. i knew you guys would get mad.

ok- i appreciate everyone’s input but apparently, i didn’t spell things out enough. I failed to list what is to be expected of ME: it was silly of me to just ASSume that my readers automatically just KNOW how giving, accommodating, gracious, loyal, ladylike, and overall WONDERFUL i truly am.

so in all fairness…. [and i ALWAYS try to be fair]

here is what my boo can expect at ALL TIMES:

- i will be ABLE to help YOU financially if EVER u need it.
- random gifts on the REGULAR of stuff you say you like or want.
- cook all the time, make sure you eat GOOD everyday
- clean up behind you EVERYDAY and never get mad that you throw your clothes everywhere after you take them off
- wash & fold laundry every week
- always look good, STAY lover-ready for you at ALL times–and never say no :-X
- and a million other tidbits to make sure that you are treated like a KING every time you are in my queendom.

i hope that answered some of your questions.

keep reading!! imma take y’all THRU it this year. *cheese*