when it rains it pours
i know how this works
what goes up must come down.
right?
just have to make sure not to get crushed in the process.
it’s crazy how the universe works [i know i say that all the time -so?]
somewhere between victory and torture.
such a crazy place to be.
but i like it.
love it actually.
so much being absorbed into my earth.
the pressure, creating diamonds
amidst the mud.

it’s so refreshing even though it hurts.
kinda smiling to myself about the spring harvest that is to come after the rain.
and, of course
the subsequent summer feast…

*i wonder what the moon is doing right now*

i have always been the type that kept my problems to myself. always had a feeling that it was me against the world, so as long as i could, i would hold my deck of cards close to my chest and keep the poker face on for as long as possible. whatever was an operational problem, i kept it in-house and handled it as such. years pass, and i see that i been taken advantage of to the NEXT level by not holding people RESPONSIBLE for what they are supposed to be doing FOR me. letting people get away with murder [in every degree] had become my profession and let me tell you honies, that shit does NOT PAY.

being that i trusted my gut, quit corporate america, and stopped working for other people 10 years ago, started a business with a dollar and a dream and because i can’t afford one, i became the entire staff. creating new business, processing current ones, keeping old ones profitable, marketing, production, accounting, receiving, delivery, etc.. it all rests on me. but, i’ll take it. stress and ALL.

to some, it might be foolish. but to me, it wasn’t even an option. i KNEW i could make equal or more money on my own than what a corporation was going to pay me for 40 hours/week of my time <~~based on what they deemed i was worth.

hell no, it’s not easy. u are in full control of your time, but there are times when you find yourself wishing for that good ole pay check every 2 weeks so u can go shopping and treat yourself for working so hard. [fail] but then there are those few very magical moments where it all clicks. the universe showers you with fortune, and you actually get paid to do what you are passionate about and LOVE to do. someone ACTUALLY recognizes your talent and doesn’t negotiate your worth to be lower than what YOU say it is.

i live for those moments. those moments drive me thru the hard times, the nay-sayers, the dream-killers, the messed up economy, the lack of trust given to me, etc… at the end of the day, i always knew that i was going to be part of the creative world and will stop at nothing to conquer it.

ever since i was little, i knew that i was gonna take the road less traveled and less glorified. but my spirit has never steered me wrong. i know i’m in the right direction.. just not the right situation.

i am divine. regardless of your j-o-b and the lack thereof of ‘mine’. i don’t knock anyone’s hustle, and don’t really appreciate mine being questioned. |yea- NO|

i am a think tank. sharp instruments ready to cut and dice. my ideas are what i sell … the words that flow from my LovE-filled hands are going to feed my bank account to overflow-eration … and yea, i got proof.

the proof is ME. my life. my experiences.. my constant and relentless recovery from the |equally as constant and relentless| opposition.

i don’t have to wait to ‘make it’ — i already did.

‘i’ve always felt famous’ -lady gaga

‘if you don’t love me thru my worst times, you don’t deserve me at my best’ -marilyn monroe