it has arrived honies… kinda like a ton-a-bricks [hurts like hell] but hey- i’ll take it.
new is better than ‘old’ right? well .. at least technically.
allow me to ramble:
almost a year to the date
here i am .. in the same place.
a confused heart that loves so deep
but [even with all the magic in these hands]
i can’t ever make the love [actually]
love me back.
not like this.
‘i’m dying without u’
….
that’s funny?
or is that one of those ‘nervous’ laughs u told me about?
nerves huh?
i’m nervous my damn self
heLL,
it’s been that way for a while now.
laughter and smiles have been strangers to me
but we have managed to begin getting re-acquainted.
not sure if this is a nightmare
or [better yet]
a twilight zone- that will soon return to orbit.
but, i do know
this past year has been a test.
not only for my cooking/get-you-gifts ‘abilities’
but ALSO for your commitment/word-is-bond capabilities.
love is love
but something is different.
this isn’t what we signed up for
and you know it.
taking my love freely and
keeping yours far FAR away from me.
voluntarily.
.voLuntariLy.
selfish asshole huh??
……..[nervous laugh] ………
i must have missed that memo.
damn.
totally didn’t bother reading the warning label.
[i'msuchanidiot]
cuz it was RIGHT there.
in bright red
blinking even.
and it KEPT blinking.
WARNING
WARNING
WAR
NING!!!
silly me.
thinking my magic can, one day
turn the bold red light
>> into a bright but forgiving green candle.
lush & fertile grounds
for something beautiful.. to grow on… flourish on
“be spoiled” on…
forever.
… what??
wait-
wasn’t ‘love’ your word?
‘madly in love‘ to be exact.
come to find out
not nearly mad enough.
not even close.
u can [actually] breathe without me.
wow- u mean to tell me, i can exhale now?????
w-o-w.
[don't wanna be your wife... i'd rather be your LIFE]
call me crazy, extreme, whatever.
i’ll be that.
i need more.
and thank God[dess] i always manage to get what i need.
some how.
after all, one cold winter night of ‘09…
i did get you.
