Written by eLbie in zEn at 7:48 am on Sep, 12 2009
a lot of times, stuff gets to me. like, REALLY gets to me. it’s quick too. i don’t give anybody a 2nd chance, once you’re on the chopping block you’re done. if it was that simple, it wouldn’t be so bad. but after all that, i still have feelings of anger and resentment and extreme dislike.. it’s not healthy. as in, you will have health problems if these feelings continue to fester inside your body.
i recently jumped down somebody’s throat when all they were doing was asking for my suggestion regarding a trivial matter. i think the troubled relationships of my past have made me into this person that thinks that everybody is passive-aggressive and manipulative. the problem is that i keep getting proven RIGHT most of the time so i’m not to be blamed for my theory. shoot. in all fairness, however, everybody should get a clean slate and a fresh start.
but yeah, i’m working on it. on not getting so angry all the way to the boiling point of my blood. i’m over it. at the end of the day, nobody really matters that much.
any who, today is saturday… i have sales & purchasing & accounts payable to make happen. i see it’s gloomy and chilly outside and somehow i feel nothing but sunshine
Written by eLbie in zEn at 1:08 pm on Sep, 11 2009
unfortunately… 9/11 for those in ethiopia, or as boo puts it- ‘goddess land’, today is new year’s day. happy new year to all my ethiopian kings and queens.
as for the tragedy that shares this day with a much more somber tone, i send out my prayers and positive energy to the families and friends of those that were lost 8 years ago. peace & love. stop the h8!!
Written by eLbie in zEn at 4:33 am on Sep, 10 2009
like my shoes?
i do.
not sure why i’m up. but i thought i vent a little bit.
the other day, i had a break through. a major one. i had been living in fear of not having approval from folks that are [or were] very [very] close to me. it wasn’t until 2 days ago that i was able to stand up to the people in that circle and pretty much told them to take their raggedy ‘approval rating’ and stuff it where the sun don’t shine. LOL. well not ALL of them got that tea but there were a few that had it coming. it was liberating honey. i felt like i could do and accomplish ANYthing at that point. so it occurred to me like, wow, i must not have felt this way before because it feels so new and different. which means- i been missing out!!
oh yea honey cuz i am too grown to give a damn about what every tom, shirley, pam and harry think about me. [getouttahere] remember, life is too short to live it for anybody other than the one that lives in YOUR body. furthermore, it’s not fair to ask anybody to be anyone other than themselves. how can you tell them what to do with the ONE life they have? i mean wtf??
ok. i’m done with that. it just feels SO good to be fearless. i fear no one honey. i have God in my entourage. bloooooooooooooop!
with that said, i would like to give some thanks for the other people in my SMALL ‘entourage’. always holding me down and supporting me even when i do something dumb that they don’t agree with. to me, that is TRUE love and i will never complain about not having it because i have it in such abundance. those few know exactly who they are and i LOVE YOU GUYS TO DEATH.
enjoyed myself this weekend…
saw 2 of my favorite voices in ‘r&b’ … marsha ambrosious [@marshaambrosius] and faith evans. they both were beautiful to watch. humble spirits and talent that is out of this WORLD.
thank you ladies for sharing your gift and doing it so well. u better weeerk! LOL
**PLEASE NOTE THE GANGSTA** - Marsha had someone hold the mic for her when she did like an 8 minute version of “butterflies”. HONEY. i have no words for the child’s vocal chords. CHIIIIILE. anywho- just go and listen to any floetry song and holla back.
on another note- things are going very well for me. i am breaking down walls as we speak. and i’m talking, century-old BRICK walls chile. whew. it’s a tough journey but i LOVE that my spiritual journey is finally coming to fruition. after years and years of an upward and stormy climb, i finally see the other side. great feeling. very VERY empowering to not be afraid anymore. fear is a lie. there is no such thing honey, don’t be fooled.
welcome to my blog... i write everyday. i'm very random. intensely emotional. constantly seek zen in everything
|a walking contradiction|
i'm a freelance writer so don't get confused [or get it twisted] by the very improper way that i write on this blog. these thoughts are personal not business. that's different. :) iloveyou4reading.
