:currently: in my bed, nyc.

:listening 2: ‘that’s the way love goes’ by norman brown

:feeling like: i’m livin’ SUCH a charmed life.. [thank u God/universe]

:thinkin about: how short life is. how we are SO mean and rude to each other as humans for no reason. there are so many sad people in the world that feel alone and that nobody cares.

:wishin: that this world wasn’t full of crazy [psycho] people that hate themselves SO much, that they insist [directly or indirectly] on making other people’s lives miserable

:reflecting on: the endless possibilities that are in .LovE. the constant learning and re-learning that is involved in obtaining it [if ever] the slippery little fingers we all get when we try to hold on to it. the convenient amnesia [regarding past hurt] that takes over when it comes INto our space.

:lovin: the slow [but sure] spiritual growth that i continue to going through. seems like most of what i thought i knew, i had a lot more to learn about…[and still do] it’s the most refreshing fEeLing to evolve in this way. to be at peace with those things in [or OUT] of our lives that we have no actual .LovE. for [it's alright] don’t mean u have to waste spiritual energy [to the point of your own detriment]
i have grown into this ILL internal place of pEacE. it is a warm blanket for my fragile E.motionaLities… [yEs, my own word] i was so free to give them away before… i am now a lot more selective as to what will penetrate into my skin. [VERY selective] i’m learning to separate the intensity from the anger and turn it into [productive] passion. learning how to be calculating before proceeding. treating my tears as if they were my diamonds of .LifE. [not wasting anymore of them]

:learning: to reeeeeally rELax, rELate, and rELease…. achieve zen even when it seems impossible. to counter-act all negative energy that comes into direct contact with me. 2 approach obstacles as low hurdles instead of road-blocks [it CAN be easy even tho' it's so damn hard right now] nothing in life is final, everything is an on-going work in progress . . . . . . . [till we die that is] to never look at a mortal with immortal vision. for guaranteed satisfaction, only see eternity in the divine.

:experiencing: life on .LifE.’s terms… forgiveness of my [own] trespasses and trespassors alike.

:shedding: fear, regret, insecurity, resentment, anger

~::~experiencing pain, not allowing it to experience me~::~

who: a devastated artistE that lost one of her most vibrant inspirations.
what: the genius that is alexander mcqueen
when: 5:50pm
where: surrounded by snow in nj

*sigh* honies… why must my heart keep breaking like this. today i learned that my favorite designer of ALL TIME committed suicide in his london home. 3 days after the death of his mother…..